Guys, it has literally been killing me not being able to share this with you all! As you know, I am a chronic over-sharer because I think (no, I KNOW) that a lot of you go through similar crap, and hearing that someone else is going through it helps us feel a little less alone in this world. With that being said, I plan to over-share throughout my pregnancy. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
AND I FINALLY I CAN TALK ABOUT IT!
Pregnancy has been fairly easy for me so far (so many women hate me for saying that, and I’m really sorry! I feel for you!). I’ve only puked twice; once was my fault (took Tylenol on an empty stomach), and once was rich, spicy food’s fault. Other than that, I get occasional queasiness and that’s pretty much it! I’ve been drinking copious amounts of water, and keep a pack of saltine’s in my purse at all times (not a joke).
We’re having a girl!
I would have bet money that we were having a boy. I have no rhyme nor reason for this, but I just had a feeling. When we found out we were having a girl, I was NOT disappointed. But I was…confused!? This whole time I had been imagining holding a little baby boy, so it took me a day or two to reorient myself. Now that I have? Oh man. Any time I see a girl under ten years old I melt. I can’t wait to have a little best friend who is a little version of myself (Can you IMAGINE the sass this lil thing is about to have?)
The “M” word
I’m gonna be real: for a few weeks after we found out, I was TERRIFIED of something ending the pregnancy. All day, I would go back and forth in my head between sheer elation and joy, and wanting to hold myself back from excitement “just in case” something terrible happened.
I understand why most people advise you to wait until the end of the first trimester to let the world know you’re pregnant (as you can see, we did that!). But, I found myself creating my own rules for who I would tell, and when.
My thought process went like this: I wanted to share the wonderful, exciting news with the people I know I would also share my grief with if, god forbid, something happened. Thankfully, I haven’t experienced a miscarriage. But I know that if I did, I would want my tribe there to help carry me through it. For me, the effort of keeping it from my loved ones only increased my anxiety about something going wrong. So, slowly but surely, I began telling my close friends and family, and each time I did, I felt a little weight being lifted.
Telling fellow mom-friends about my incessant worrying turned out to be a good choice. One friend gave an explanation for my constant worry of miscarrying: biologically, our “mom” hormones go into overdrive the second we conceive. We all know moms will do ANYTHING to protect their kids, and are constantly on the lookout for danger. This is just another one of those times! We are already obsessed with our baby and want everything to be ok, even though they look like a prune. This helped ease my anxiety A TON.
This may not be everyone’s experience, and I’m not saying my way of sharing is the right way to do it. Just wanted to share in case any other moms-to-be out there felt the same!
A lot of people ask me, “DO YOU MISS WINE?!”, and (surprisingly) the answer for me has been no. Talk to me in three months, but for now, the waves of queasiness that come and go make acidic wine sound like hell on earth.
I’ve also found a handy “replacement vice” : CARBS. Oh man, if I could eat a baguette and a fruit basket for every meal, I would! (I told Shawn this was a sign he should take me to France, but I have yet to hear back). Food and I have become besticles, so close in fact that I have cried over not getting the food I wanted. (“I THOUGHT WE HAD GROUND TURKEY IN THE FREEZER!!! I REALLY WANTED TACOS!!!”)
While indulging is always fun, I’ve also struggled quite a bit with it! Before getting pregnant, I was a maniac about getting enough “greens” everyday, and the Whole Food salad bar legit made me feel giddy inside. I ENJOYED salads. Unfortunately, the sight of a salad throughout my first trimester has made me want to barf. The few times I have been able to stomach a salad, there have been carbs infused into them. One day, I crumbled nacho cheese Dorito’s on top. It was magnificent.
I’ve been trying to heed to all the advice I’ve been getting, “Eat whatever you want! This is the time! Enjoy it!” But truth be told, I’ve struggled with a lot of internal guilt about it all. I have a lot of fear about gaining too much weight and not being able to lose it after, and of course I want to eat as healthy as possible for the babe!
Now that I’m getting into my second trimester, I have been finding vegetables more appealing. I also find sneaky ways of getting them into my diet (like a smoothie in the morning!).
While I have avoided morning sickness (THANK THE HEAVENS), that is not to say my pregnancy has been without…annoyances.
Here are some joys I have been experiencing:
- Constipation station
- Guys. This has been the most glamorous part of my pregnancy. I mean, who doesn’t feel sexy when they’re constantly bloated and backed up?
- Why doesn’t anyone talk about this!?? We hear about morning sickness ALL the time; it’s quintessentially the “first” thing people notice that signals they’re pregnant. No one talks about the Metamucil, Cholace, and Miralax that are a daily regimen for some of us!
- Hair…on my knuckles.
- I caught my hand glimmering in the sunlight the other day, only to realize the glimmer was stemming from freshly sprouted hair on my knuckles. Again, SEXY. I’ve come close shaving them, but so far haven’t gathered the courage. Also, the hair is blonde (for now)!
- Pants = Prison.
- While I’m not technically showing quite yet, I do have a significant bloat that hangs out 24/7. But…the bloat itself isn’t enough to make me buy new pants (because soon maternity pants are coming.) Pants of all kinds make me feel like a sausage being stuffed into its casing.
- No, I did not cry….ever.
- I’m just not a crier, guys. Well, that’s not true. I cry at commercials, news stories, and The Dodo videos of dogs who end up living a happy life after they had a rough start. But in my personal life, crying is just not something I do. So no, I didn’t cry when we found out. I didn’t cry at our first ultra sound. I didn’t cry when we found out she was a girl. I just didn’t! And that’s Ok. That doesn’t mean im an emotionless animal or will be a bad mom.
I’d like to leave you all with a list of quotes that Shawn has secretly been keeping track of:
- “I honestly don’t know how I’ve gone this far in my pregnancy without eating chips. It’s like reuniting with an old friend.”
- Shawn: “What are you doing?” Me: “Making emergency noodles.”
- “WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP? I had a dream I was getting a Mexican pizza from Taco Bell and they were JUST about to give it to me!!!!!”
- “Just call me Dobby the House Elf.”
- Me: “I’m just really upset.” Shawn: “Why?” Me: “Because none of my pears are ripe enough to eat.”
We are so happy, and I’m so excited to finally be able to share the up’s, down’s and in between’s with you all! ❤