Making friends in your late twenties is….weird. Does anyone else feel this way? It feels a little like dating. I’ll be strolling through Safeway and will catch myself checking out a girl thinking, “OOooohhh yeahhhh she looks like she’s funny. Her outfit is cute too. Should I ask if she wants to work out together some time….?” But, I am a female and this is against our nature to strike up a casual conversation with other females. (Kidding, but also sort of not kidding)
I am constantly on alert if there is a:
– normal-looking youngish female who looks like she likes to have a good time
– and by “good time” I mean she likes to go to a trendy bar (that isn’t too loud) where she perhaps engages in conversations that are both funny AND meaningful
– She also enjoys exercising but isn’t so into exercising that she can’t indulge in a dirty martini on Wednesday night. Or an entire wheel of oven-baked brie, perhaps.
No longer 21, but also not 35 yet
We’re in this weird “in between stage,” where we’re not quite 35 and settled, but also not in the young twenties anymore (you know, that place before you knew what anxiety was?). Your early twenties are when you have a twinkle in your eye and a thirst to know the world and meet AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. Then, once real responsibility sets in and you’re withering at a 9 to 5, you don’t even have energy to meet people, let alone have time. On the flip side, once you get married and have babies, you’re set. There are birthday parties every single Saturday, you meet everyone’s mom on the soccer team, etc. Parenthood brings an entire new set of friends who you secretly drink wine with when the kids go to bed.
Apparently, I’m not the only one who has had this revelation.
I cruised the internet for some ideas (I’m not desperate I’m just curious……………….) but not many have come up with a solid idea on how to make friends in your late twenties.
For example, a recent Reddit post posed the question,
“What does everyone do to make friends in their twenties?”
Here were some of the responses: (no, unfortunately I did not make these up).
- ImNeworsomething: I just sit in the park and feed the ducks bread crumbs. The ducks are my friends now *
- Bob-omb_panic: This will sound really sad but I make most of my friends on grindr these days**
- Tapeworms: Steal my girlfriend’s friends. She’s really outgoing and makes friends easily…so then I just leech off of her***
- *(I feel you bro…..sorta…)
- **(Bob, I’m here to tell you that is indeed sad AF)
- ***(Dude lucked out)
Great, so we either have Mallard ducks at the park or weird people on hook-up websites to choose from.
I think most of us become pretty picky as we age too. When you’re in your late twenties you’ve seen enough to know the type of people that you want to be around. Unfortunately, many of us judge books by their cover (and let’s be honest, sometimes we’re spot on).
There is hope!
While making friends may be difficult, it’s not impossible! Join an indoor soccer team, play kickball (I hear they usually have beer after…) or, heck, find a knitting class if you’re into that sort of thing. Maybe you can re-kindle some friendships that have fizzled out over the years? Moral of the story: don’t wither in your apartment binge watching Netflix every night. Humans are social beings! Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.